If I could look the fearful in the eye, I would tell them to be brave. Not because they feel brave but because they want something better. There’s a deception in fear. It tells us to pull back and hide in the shadows of guilt cast down from our walls of lies. We think if we can just stay there that somehow we’ll be safe. Maybe temporarily. Maybe.

I think of a quote I heard forever ago, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” [Jim Elliot] Maybe sometimes the thing we think promises us safety is the very thing that’ll tear us down in the end. What if coming clean meant somehow we really could start over, really could have a new beginning, a second chance? What if admitting we’re broken meant we could become whole? I know how that sounds but seriously ~ What if finally asking for help is the one thing you’ll end up being so proud of?

What if all it takes ( to get from here/misery to there/a better place) is not knowing what to do but just saying, “I have no idea how to fix this but I’m here and I’ll do what it takes.”   I believe that all of us, deep inside, have what it takes to do the things we fear. That will look different for each of us and it may mean one thing today and another tomorrow – but we don’t have to worry about tomorrow. What’s the scarey thing you need to do today?  Somewhere, in this world or beyond there is enough grace out there – for all of our mistakes, all of our lies. Come clean – we’re all weak. We’ve all screwed up. Some of us more than others. Hiding behind it doesn’t lessen the guilt or the consequences. It only makes it more difficult, more isolating.

No doubt – it will get more difficult for a while. There’ll be moments of it feeling like “all hell’s broke loose”. But what is more like your idea of hell ~ being in constant fear, wondering when your world is going to come crashing down, wondering how it’s going to happen? Or seeing it crashing down but knowing help is on its way?                  ….You can do this.

…all of us, deep inside, have what it takes to do the things we fear.




  1. 1
    Joelle Says:

    Awesome. Brave enough to tackle that which we fear.

    One of the things I say to my boys a lot (because of “Wild At Heart”) is how BRAVE and STRONG they are. The other day I said to J, “You’re so brave.” And he responded with, “and strong.” Yes.

  2. 2
    Tara H Says:

    Your so deep.
    you probably think this comments about you, your so deeeep. You probably think this comments about you,
    don’t chu
    don’t chuuuu.

    I love your blog. I am serious, so serious in fact. I am not even smiling when I say that.

  3. 3
    cdees Says:

    joelle, a good reminder for me to plant those thoughts into my boys’ minds as well. love that j is already getting it. 🙂
    tara – the new carly simon. you crack me up. thanks though – for your comments girrrrrls. 🙂

  4. 4
    emilykaz Says:

    Is the friend moi? This was my favorite entry, b/c in fact, it did ring true with my heart and my hesitation to live life and it was written so well. You are BRAVE and inspire me to be as such!

  5. 5
    cdees Says:

    oh em, it wasn’t you but how sweet to me that it rang true and encouraged you. that is so so good to know and comforting to hear. i love you and am glad you are “here”. xox

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